The door swings open, a gush of people rush in, like water exploding from a dam into a wide ocean.

The tram dings angrily, telling me to hurry the hell up and take a seat.

And then, I see them. A keychain of my favourite character. A quiet, gentle smirk that seems directed exactly at me.

No, no, no, it’s not. No one ever smiles at people anymore.

The seats besides them start to fill. A chance at a beautiful conversation, of coincidence, of a great story we could tell our children, “Remember how we met on that tram?”, it’s all slipping away so quickly.

I need to be decisive. I made a New Year’s Resolution about this. I read a self-help book about this. I listened to a podcast about this. I must be decisive.

So I sit.

Straight across from them. The gaps between our seats an abyss impossible to cross. I just want to say something. About that keychain. About how their day is going. “Man, it’s pretty crowded on here, huh?”

But what will they think of me? I’ll be a creep. A whack-job. A tainted man of the manosphere born to suckle on their biceps and make the whole world feel threatened.

But I just want to talk.

My stomach lurches. The words feel like they’re going to vomit out. A stammered “excuse me” slips out. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. We’re all in now.

They can’t hear me. I raise my voice over the clamour of tram noise. One last stand.

“Excuse me.”

They look up. “Yes?”

The world goes silent. All noise disappears. Everything fades to black and with a clang the spotlight shines on me.

“I just wanted to say…” Breathe. “You seemed… Nice.”

The smile disappears from their face. A look of hopelessness and despair. That I’ve failed them. Horror. A face of “What? Someone is trying to speak to me, ripping my attention from my virtual home?”

They reluctantly nod. “Uh… Thanks.” They motion to put their AirPods back in.

The abyss grows. I struggle to create my bridge of words. Talk about the keychain. Talk about something. Anything.

My mind at 100, the abyss swallows me. I spend the rest of the tram ride a shadow of existence.